Summer is waning and it’s time to focus on back to school. Whether school has started for your children or it’s coming soon, the transition can be challenging. Here are a few tips to ease into the school start-up.
Adjust Routines: Summer has been great and probably school year routines have morphed over the summer to a more relaxed version, but now it’s time to refocus. A few weeks before the school begins, start adjusting routines to reflect those during the school year. If bedtimes have gotten off kilter adjust them by 10 to 15 minutes over time to get them back on track. The same with meals or snacks – move them gently rather than a hard shift. This will help everyone when that first day arrives.
Everybody Onboard: Involve the children in getting ready for the new school year. Let them help you set up a calendar with dates and activities to look forward to. Get them to participate in school shopping whenever possible. This might mean taking each child individually – and honestly, that would be a lovely time for you and them to bond. If your child takes their lunch to school, start thinking about great lunch alternatives. If they are ready to prepare their own lunches, this is a great time to let the practice and create.
Prepare Expectations: Talk with each child about the expectations of their school and their classrooms. Having a school tour and meeting teachers prior to that first day is ideal when possible. Review and role play with children what their first day might be like. This is particularly great for children with school anxiety. They can play the role of teacher while you are playing their role. This can help the process of preparing for challenges that they may meet in those first days.
Do a walkthrough of getting up, getting dressed, breakfast, lunch prep, walking to the bus, etc. as part of this preparation time. Again, anxious children benefit from this type of preparation play, but so do most children. Think of it as a game.
This preparation includes prepping yourself. Prepare to have positive goodbyes in the morning that boost your child’s confidence. Reinforce when you’ll see them after school to reassure them. If part of the first day is to take them into the classroom, then keep to your plan. Don’t linger but rather pass on your confidence in them that it will be a good day and you’ll see them at the end of it. This might mean keeping your emotions in check until you return to your car or get home – plan for this too.
Special Event: Some parents have a last fling of summer ritual that they do before school that winds up summer vacation on a high note. Some parents make that first week of school special by having a ritual celebration at the end of it that the children can look forward to. Whatever you choose to do, having a special event connected to returning to school can jump-start their year.
Really Listen: That first month of school can be a challenge even for the most seasoned returning student. There can be a lot of anxiety, uncertainty, upheaval, and change over this first month. Take time to connect with each child about their day and what they are experiencing. Ask open-ended questions that get the conversation going if needed – these are questions that can’t be answered with “OK”, “Fine”, “Yes”, or “No”. If they aren’t ready to talk right after school wait until they are and then really listen. Avoid the urge to jump in to provide advice or solutions, let them vent or get it out. Let them be the one to ask for advice. Confirm their feelings and provide support. Children need to find ways to cope or solve problems. Parents can help them process this, but unless there is an extreme situation, avoid solving their problems for them. Everyone will benefit from this approach.
Transitions can be hard, especially for children. By preparing them and yourself you’ll make this transition time more positive and the year run a bit smoother.
