As we begin the New Year it can be an excellent time to set goals yearly goals. Rather than resolutions that feel “heavy” on the “I promised myself and others I do these things” – goals are items you’d like to work toward throughout the year. The whole family can benefit from setting some goals and children also set their own. Part of goal-setting is planning and implementing, which is a critical part of the whole process.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you, your family, and your children set their goals for the new year.

Long-Term Goals

Setting long-term goals (those that cannot be reached within one year) can be helpful for each of us, including children, so they can see progress along the way. Long-term goals innately have sub-goals to reach as benchmarks toward the larger goal. Setting long-term goals helps children build resilience and cope with setbacks because that’s also part of a journey toward a goal. Even adults need to realize that no long-range path will be without challenges. This journey provides adults and children with problem-solving opportunities and a positive work ethic. Reaching achievable milestones bring satisfaction from the time and effort that brought these successes.

Long-term goals reinforce . . .

• Responsibility – success or failure depends on the effort put into the goal
• Time Management – there is a process toward the goal and how it fits into your day, week, month, or year must be considered
• Self Confidence – meeting milestones, benchmarks, and finally, your goal feels amazing
• Resilience – small setbacks or challenges can be positive learning experiences for children and adults

Parents cannot set goals for their children but they can help them identify what they want. Adults should, of course, set their own personal goals which don’t always have to do with their children or family. Finally, setting family goals everyone can work on and participate in is good for the family unit. This is particularly true when there are several younger children in the family who may not be ready for their own long-term goals but are certainly part of the family’s goals.

When setting long-term or short-term goals remember . . .

• Check Goals Are Realistic – if there is no way that your child can have that pet they want because of allergies, living situations, or some other insurmountable obstacle, make sure they understand the reasons. It can also be a time to look at alternative goals that are attainable. This can be a teachable moment for everyone.
• Each Person Must Choose – Having a goal “thrust upon” you is not goal-setting. Children must be allowed to choose with guidance. The same is true for adults your partner cannot and should not set a goal for you. Unless the goal is yours and you are fully on board and committed it is sure to fail.
• Goals Should Stretch You – Striving and trying, meeting challenges, and problem-solving, are all part of setting and working toward goals. If a goal is easily reached it’s OK, but those that are hard-won really make a difference to children and adults alike.
• Be Specific – You want to make sure that it can be measured and that when the goal is achieved it’s obvious.
• Break It Down – One of the reasons that goals and resolutions can be so hard to keep is that often they feel huge and it’s hard to know where to begin. Once you or your child have settled on the goal then break it into milestones that are, in themselves, mini-goals to be met.
• Mark Progress – Setting up a visual map, particularly for children, helps track progress and accomplishments. Help family members set up their progress chart, but don’t do it or make decisions about it for them. Establishing the goal must come from the individual.
• Goals as a Family – Individual goals set within the family unit provide a place for accountability and support. It emphasizes cooperation over competition since everyone’s goals are based on their individual interests. While individuals are setting goals it is also a great time to set family goals which might be working toward a special trip or vacation or getting something that the whole family will enjoy. Making family goals are a fun part of the whole process and are especially good for families with very young children who also want to participate in a unified goal.

Make this year the year that you and your family start setting new goals that will bring satisfaction, pride, and unity.