The holiday train starts rolling when we pull up to Halloween and it just goes faster and faster right through New Years. We all get caught up in the excitement, the rush of activity, and the whirlwind of activities. Sometimes, ok – often, that leads to anxiety and stress for us and also for our families which includes the littlest members. Are you thinking this year, this year we’re going to plan for a simpler more meaningful holiday period? That’s great. Maybe you are saying thinking that you love the hustle and bustle, and that kind of full-tilt holiday rush is perfect for our family. Perfect. Actually, no matter which way you manage the holidays consider how you will include the children in the family and how the plans you are making will impact them.

Planning with children, even children as young as 3 or 4 can reap rewards – they feel included, they feel heard, they feel part of the events and activities, and they enjoy it even more. This is a great time before Thanksgiving to gather your family together to plan out this year’s holiday activities.

First, take a critical look at your family calendar and get real. Are you already dreading the number of activities that are usually part of the holiday? Are becoming anxious about preparing certain foods or making the house ready for visitors? Why are you dreading it? Is it robbing you of the joy of the season? How does the busyness affect your children and family? Once you’ve gotten real about these you can then look at items that could possibly be taken from the holiday plan this year.

Next, have a family meeting. This “meeting” should be a fun planning session which includes some yummy treats to make it fun and festive. This is a wonderful time to remind them of cherished traditions that you want to be sure to include. While you are discussing those traditions take a moment to share the reason those traditions are part of your holidays. Children love to hear the story of why we always make certain cookies or go to a certain event or gather with certain people or volunteer during the holiday season or cut your own tree. Start telling your stories and share what makes it special to you.

Ask the children what their favorite traditions of the season are – even very young children will have some favorites and older children can expand to tell why they love it so much. Further the discussion with asking if they have suggestions. You might find that they would like more downtime or time to spend quietly as a family. This is often true of school-age children who look forward to holiday breaks as a time for play and relaxing.

Now, go back to that family calendar – remove those stressful activities, focus on the ones that give everyone joy, and add a few that you have agreed as a family will make this holiday season just right. Inclusive planning builds family closeness, family traditions, and strengthens the sense of belonging. Enjoy your holiday season this year!